The drive to the ferry was always stifling. However, being stuck with your dad and your obnoxious older brother in the back of a taxi with your mom awkwardly conversing in the front seat with the sketchy cab driver was just about unbearable. Welcome to my life.⋆
This was a biannual event in my family, driving for three hours in a taxi to the Bauer Docks on the coast of South Carolina. I stared vehemently at the over sized dice that swayed from the rear view mirror. The cab smelled of old pizza and sweat, and my brother was getting dangerously close to my face with his greasy, salt-covered fingers. "Want some french fries, Ollie?" Damek waggled his digits in my face. In his lap, a Styrofoam container of french fries sat, invitingly.
"Come along, Olexa, the ferry is leaving soon." She chided, scurrying towards the ticket station. My dad and Damek struggled to keep up.
"There should be four tickets under Nenad." Mom, Carla, informed the man at the counter.
"First names?"
"Carla, Daniel, Olexa, and Damek." At the mention of the last two names, the man's eyebrows rose. We were often asked by many a curious passerby if my brother and I were adopted. No, we were not. Our parents were just very, uh, proud of our Balkan heritage. So much so that they couldn't stand to give their offspring normal, Americanized first names.
The man handed my mother our tickets and we boarded the ferry.
As soon as I stepped off the boat, I was greeted by Eleanor.
"Ellie!" I squealed, dropping my bags. We hugged and jumped up and down for about 3 minutes.
"How have you been?!" She asked shrilly, looking at me. We both changed a lot in two years. She only got prettier, and I was starting to come into my own myself. I had grown into my previously awkward, gangly frame, and my braces were a thing of the past.
"Great. How about you?"
She giggled. "Oh, I have so much to tell you."
When we were younger, the first night was family night. Now was different. We had a gaggle of friends on the island, and the first night was reserved for 'adult catch up' and 'child bonfire.' The bonfire took place in Ellie's backyard, which was a long strip of beach. We took all afternoon to set up, and by the time the sun began to disappear behind the cliffs, people came from every which direction on bikes. Tiki torches blazed and paper lanterns were strung in the gazebo adjacent to the house. Further out onto the sand, a fire had been coaxed out of a tepee of scrap wood and kindling.
I sat with Ellie on a large piece of drift wood, one of six encircling the bonfire.
"So, you know," Ellie said slyly, drawing a picture in the sand with her big toe. "Zach's coming."
I rolled my eyes. Had I really expected her to forget? Didn't she understand that nobody really thought of me back then as more than friend material? At thirteen, I was lanky and had big feet and big ears, with bad teeth and other typical features of preteen-dom. I sighed heavily.
"Please, Ellie. That's in the past. Obviously we're just friends. I'm over it." She shook her head.
"Don't be so sure. He seemed excited when I told him about the bonfire."
"Yeah, him and every other friend we have on this darned island."
She laughed, watching ashes rise into the sky. "Touche."
We continued to talk when the first group arrived.
We chatted and soon other groups leaked in. Jason, Yvonne, Greta, Beth, and Adam, who were all Damek's age, arrived next, followed by Stacy, Brett, Darcy, Keith, and Tia, all between the ages 14 and 16. I was delighted to see many familiar faces, but I found in spite of myself that I was waiting for one face in particular. I knew that Ellie wouldn't have the smallest inkling, but I blushed anyway.
Act cool, I reassured myself. He's just another friend. You treat him the same as everyone else.
"Hey Zach, how have you been?" I asked, without hesitation. I hugged him, and despite what I had confided to Ellie earlier, I still those familiar sparks.
"I've been great, how about you?" He replied, holding me at arm's length now.
"Oh, you know." I said in an effort to be nonchalant. We both walked over to the bonfire, and i took a seat between him and Riza.
"I remember," Felicity giggled, "That last summer, Damek was obsessed with baseball."
"Oh," I snorted. "Trust me, that didn't last long. He decided to stick with tennis."
We all laughed.
"Yeah!" Tony piped in. "And he used waaaay too much hair gel. I don't know how Mina dealt with it."
I laughed again.
"Oh, but what about you, Ollie!" Darcy exclaimed, gesturing at me. "You used to be so lanky, no offense."
"None taken." I shook my head.
"Yeah, remember I called you Giraffe?" Pat leaned over Riza to punch my arm.
"I see you also ditched the braces, Dumbo." Brett joked kindheartedly.
"Yes, yes I did, Pinoccio." I smirked at him. Everyone burst out laughing. I was not the only one who was the butt of jokes two summers ago.
"What do you think, Zach?" Tia raised an eyebrow. "Ollie's really pretty now, isn't she?" I gritted my teeth. Remind me later to throw a big clump of seaweed at Tia, I thought to myself. I rolled my eyes and shrugged off her petulance.
I was taken off-guard when Zach cast an arm around me.
"I don't know who you guys are talking about, but I always thought she was pretty."
Suddenly, my cheeks grew warm, above the heat radiating from the bonfire.
"Thanks Zach, I always thought you weren't half bad yourself." He laughed, and his arm fell to his side. As we all continued to chat and reminisce, his hand found mine, and it stayed there the rest of the night.
I knew it was going to be a good summer.
"No thanks, Damek." I rolled my eyes, and turned up the sound on my ipod. I just wanted this part to be over. All I wanted to do was see my friends. I missed them a lot. It had been two years, in other words, way too long.
On the island, my cousins and I hung out with some of the other native teenagers. Their names were Riza, alex, Stacy, Brett, Darcy, Keith, Tia, Quinn, Alicia, Felicity, Patrick, Tony, and Zach. I blushed immediately at the thought of Zach. Last summer, I had developed a little 'thing' for him. I don't quite remember how, but word spread with the group, and for most of the summer I was constantly followed by kissy faces and giggles. It really did a number on my already low self esteem. On top of that, Zach did not reciprocate my affection, leaving me high and dry on the love boat.
I closed my eyes and rested my head on the fingerprint smeared window. I envisioned us all stepping out of the taxi, bags in hand, headed for the ferry. I tried to fall asleep to try and fast forward to the arrival at our destination, but Damek and my father, Daniel, were arguing next to me.
On the island, my cousins and I hung out with some of the other native teenagers. Their names were Riza, alex, Stacy, Brett, Darcy, Keith, Tia, Quinn, Alicia, Felicity, Patrick, Tony, and Zach. I blushed immediately at the thought of Zach. Last summer, I had developed a little 'thing' for him. I don't quite remember how, but word spread with the group, and for most of the summer I was constantly followed by kissy faces and giggles. It really did a number on my already low self esteem. On top of that, Zach did not reciprocate my affection, leaving me high and dry on the love boat.
I closed my eyes and rested my head on the fingerprint smeared window. I envisioned us all stepping out of the taxi, bags in hand, headed for the ferry. I tried to fall asleep to try and fast forward to the arrival at our destination, but Damek and my father, Daniel, were arguing next to me.
"No, dad, I'm not working at the Shack this year, okay! It's my last summer before college, I want to have a fun time, not spend all of my time working for Uncle Tim!"
"That's irresponsible, Damek, besides, how do you think you'll be paying for college?"
This went on and on. My mom was totally oblivious to it all, or ignored it. I wasn't too sure which. I tried to readjust my position, but my thighs were sticking to the pleather, and no matter now I curled up, it was uncomfortable.
⋆
After what seemed like hours, we had finally arrived. I practically jumped out of the taxi as it parked in the lot next to the docks. My mom paid the man and grabbed my bags.
"Come along, Olexa, the ferry is leaving soon." She chided, scurrying towards the ticket station. My dad and Damek struggled to keep up.
"There should be four tickets under Nenad." Mom, Carla, informed the man at the counter.
"First names?"
"Carla, Daniel, Olexa, and Damek." At the mention of the last two names, the man's eyebrows rose. We were often asked by many a curious passerby if my brother and I were adopted. No, we were not. Our parents were just very, uh, proud of our Balkan heritage. So much so that they couldn't stand to give their offspring normal, Americanized first names.
The man handed my mother our tickets and we boarded the ferry.
⋆
It took about half an hour to arrive at our destination, Gull Island. It was the residence of my Aunt Ruthie and Uncle Tim, and my cousins, Isaiah, 16, Eleanor, 15 (my age) and Jacob, 19 (a year older than my brother.) Uncle Tim and Aunt Ruthie owned and operated the Gull Shack, a popular spot for tourists and natives alike. Every other year we came to live with them for the summer, enjoying the beach and working at the shack. As soon as I stepped off the boat, I was greeted by Eleanor.
"Ellie!" I squealed, dropping my bags. We hugged and jumped up and down for about 3 minutes.
"How have you been?!" She asked shrilly, looking at me. We both changed a lot in two years. She only got prettier, and I was starting to come into my own myself. I had grown into my previously awkward, gangly frame, and my braces were a thing of the past.
"Great. How about you?"
She giggled. "Oh, I have so much to tell you."
When we were younger, the first night was family night. Now was different. We had a gaggle of friends on the island, and the first night was reserved for 'adult catch up' and 'child bonfire.' The bonfire took place in Ellie's backyard, which was a long strip of beach. We took all afternoon to set up, and by the time the sun began to disappear behind the cliffs, people came from every which direction on bikes. Tiki torches blazed and paper lanterns were strung in the gazebo adjacent to the house. Further out onto the sand, a fire had been coaxed out of a tepee of scrap wood and kindling.
I sat with Ellie on a large piece of drift wood, one of six encircling the bonfire.
"So, you know," Ellie said slyly, drawing a picture in the sand with her big toe. "Zach's coming."
I rolled my eyes. Had I really expected her to forget? Didn't she understand that nobody really thought of me back then as more than friend material? At thirteen, I was lanky and had big feet and big ears, with bad teeth and other typical features of preteen-dom. I sighed heavily.
"Please, Ellie. That's in the past. Obviously we're just friends. I'm over it." She shook her head.
"Don't be so sure. He seemed excited when I told him about the bonfire."
"Yeah, him and every other friend we have on this darned island."
She laughed, watching ashes rise into the sky. "Touche."
We continued to talk when the first group arrived.
⋆
"Oh my God! OLLIE!" I turned, instantly recognizing the voice of Riza. She was accompanied by her sister, Mina, and her brother, Alex. Mina acknowledged me quickly before taking off to find Damek. They had a steady relationship going since I was probably 11. They met when they were both only 14, and ever since then they picked up right where they left off when we stepped foot back on the island. Alex was 13, and came to join us along with Riza, who was our age. We chatted and soon other groups leaked in. Jason, Yvonne, Greta, Beth, and Adam, who were all Damek's age, arrived next, followed by Stacy, Brett, Darcy, Keith, and Tia, all between the ages 14 and 16. I was delighted to see many familiar faces, but I found in spite of myself that I was waiting for one face in particular. I knew that Ellie wouldn't have the smallest inkling, but I blushed anyway.
⋆
"Hey, hey!" The booming voice of Quinn diverted our attention. I got up to greet him and the group he came with, Alicia, Felicity, Patrick, Tony, and finally, Zach. I hugged them all, inhaling the nostalgic scent of Felicity's perfume of choice, Ralph Lauren Wild, and Patrick's scent of cut grass. That had been his summer job since he was old enough to work a lawn mower. Over his shoulder, I found myself stealing a furtive glance at Zach. He was tan and tall, just like I remembered. He had dark brown, almost black hair that fell just below his ears. Same dark green eyes, same pretty smile. I was blushing again. He was a semblance of the same boy I left on the island. Pat let me go and I walked over to Zach.Act cool, I reassured myself. He's just another friend. You treat him the same as everyone else.
"Hey Zach, how have you been?" I asked, without hesitation. I hugged him, and despite what I had confided to Ellie earlier, I still those familiar sparks.
"I've been great, how about you?" He replied, holding me at arm's length now.
"Oh, you know." I said in an effort to be nonchalant. We both walked over to the bonfire, and i took a seat between him and Riza.
⋆
We all caught up over marshmallows, hot dogs, and soda. I never laugh as much as I do when I'm at Gull Island."I remember," Felicity giggled, "That last summer, Damek was obsessed with baseball."
"Oh," I snorted. "Trust me, that didn't last long. He decided to stick with tennis."
We all laughed.
"Yeah!" Tony piped in. "And he used waaaay too much hair gel. I don't know how Mina dealt with it."
I laughed again.
"Oh, but what about you, Ollie!" Darcy exclaimed, gesturing at me. "You used to be so lanky, no offense."
"None taken." I shook my head.
"Yeah, remember I called you Giraffe?" Pat leaned over Riza to punch my arm.
"I see you also ditched the braces, Dumbo." Brett joked kindheartedly.
"Yes, yes I did, Pinoccio." I smirked at him. Everyone burst out laughing. I was not the only one who was the butt of jokes two summers ago.
"What do you think, Zach?" Tia raised an eyebrow. "Ollie's really pretty now, isn't she?" I gritted my teeth. Remind me later to throw a big clump of seaweed at Tia, I thought to myself. I rolled my eyes and shrugged off her petulance.
I was taken off-guard when Zach cast an arm around me.
"I don't know who you guys are talking about, but I always thought she was pretty."
Suddenly, my cheeks grew warm, above the heat radiating from the bonfire.
"Thanks Zach, I always thought you weren't half bad yourself." He laughed, and his arm fell to his side. As we all continued to chat and reminisce, his hand found mine, and it stayed there the rest of the night.
⋆
7 comments:
MY AUTHOR'S NOTE! (:
1.) I would like my author to get out of this story is a feeling of joy and contentment from Olexa's point of view. The 'point' of the story I think would be that 'people are capable of looking past appearances' or something along those lines. I think this is the point because in the story Olexa was scared that things would be awkward between her and Zach because she had a very apparent crush on him two summers before, and she didn't think she was very pretty or cool.
2.) I think that my description works well in this piece. I also think that the dialog is good. It was very easy for me to develop the setting of the taxi cab and Ellie's house at Gull Island once I started writing. I also like the characters Olexa and Damek because I think that their names are unique and their family relationships are interesting.
3.) The major conflict I have as I write this is that it is very lengthy for a short story (1,500 words.) I don't know if these parts are all necessary to the story but I feel like they help the reader get a feel for the characters and their relationships with each other. I also focused a lot on developing the setting, the taxi cab and then later Gull Island. The other weak area in my story is probably the theme. I don't really know what my theme is, because I changed my story and was focused more on making good characters/plot/settings.
4.) Questions I have about this piece are if there are any parts that readers don't feel are necessary? Also, what do you think a potential theme could be? And what could I do to make my theme more prevalent? Also any thing else the reader feels is necessary or wants to mention.
the conflicted of the story is that olexa went to to gull island, she had been going there for a few years now, and there was a boy there that she liked, and she was reuniting with him. this was an external feeling. it was resolved by having zach say that he thought she was prettty. i was so invested, i wanted to keep ready so much, i loved it. maybe if zach had a girlfriend, the story would be dramatic.
the physical appearance changed over the summer before, but you didnt really hear about that, also her confidence got better because she found out zach really did like her. olexa figured out that zach did like her and she knew she had a chance with him. the change was a big part because now all the worrying was nothing for her and she got it over with. if olexa didnt change that story would be different because if she didnt have the confidence she wouldnt have talked to or like acknowledge zach.
my favroite part was when her friends saw herfor the first time. "'Oh my God! OLLIE!' I turned, instantly recognizing the voice of Riza." i chose this because i can imagine someone doing this.
i think the resolution was so cute (: i liked it a lot. thats because it made me want to keep reading on what happened to Olexa and zach, if they ended up together or what!?
the stories theme you never know whats going to happen. this is because olexa went to the island thinking zach doesnt like her and theyre going to be just friends, but by the end of the story they grow to like each other!
you have a few capitalization errors that i showed you while sitting next to me. otherwise your story was amazing, i fell in love with your writingg abby (: good job love button! <3
1.) The conflict of this particular story was an internal conflict. The main character Olexa, is returning to Gull Island once again. She still likes her close friend Zach, but wants to lose her insecurities, and just try and have a good time. The story wasn't very dramatic, but like ways that you could make it more dramatic include: Zach having a girlfriend, someone dying the story etc.
2.)Olexa kind of changed over the course of the story. In the beginning of the story it seemed like she was kind of anxious and scared to see Zach once again, kind of like letting her insecurities get to her, but then when she gets to the island she changes. She decided to stop worrying, and just let things happen.
3.)My favorite part of the story was when Olexa and all her island friends get together and reminisce, about all the goods times they've had in the past and stuff. My favorite line was, ""I see you also ditched the braces, Dumbo." Brett joked good-heartedly." I like how the characters make fun of each other. My friends and I insult each other all the time, but not to be mean. It's a weird way of showing affection, and I think that it was really easy for me to relate to the feelings that were occurring between all the friends, and catching up.
4.) The best quality of the story is by far the dialog. It is so real, and it just makes the story very enjoyable to read. I especially liked the usage of the word sketchy. It is very South Hadleyish. And since I myself, use the word a lot, it was nice to see it included.
5.)The main message of this story is kind of like things in life may not be what you hoped for, but as your here, you mind as well she hope for the best, no regrets. Just let things happen, and have a good time.
6.) Revision wise, there isn't much to revise. Couple capitalization errors, not much. Although I thought there were a lot of characters, and it was kind of annoying having to read sentences full of names. Maybe you could spread it out more? I don't know. Anyways, great story (:
- Loveeeeee Hulia
good story, but i could tell that you realized by the end about the 1000 word limit.
VOCABULARYYYYY.
-biannual - every two years.
I put this in my story because it was a good description of the terms of Ollie's vacation.
-vehemently - intensely
I put this in the story because it betrayed how Ollie was feeling having to stay in the taxi.
-shrilly - high-pitched
this was a good description of the way Eleanor was speaking because she was excited.
-adjacent - near
I used this word because it accurately describes the position of the gazebo relative to the house.
-inkling - a vague idea or notion
I used this word because it was a good way to describe the fact that Eleanor had no idea what was going on.
-furtive - sly
I used this word because it was a good description of the way Ollie looked at Zach.
-semblance - a likeness
I used this word to describe that Zach hadn't changed a lot.
NOT DONE OKAY
-petulance - rudeness
I used this word because it was a good description of what Tia said.
-cast - to throw
I used this word because it was a more interesting verb to describe what Zach did.
The biggest change from my rough draft to my final draft was probably rearrangement of my paragraphs. I found the comments most beneficial. I think my story's greatest strength is description. I would suggest to have your theme and everything worked out beforehand before you start to write.
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